Pain isn’t permanent. Just like a wound, it can heal if cared for properly. Yet, we tend to look for external sources to fill an internal void. Some people do drugs or drink alcohol to feel good. Others get into relationships of some sort to feel loved. People may even over-work themselves or constantly have to be on the move. I have tried doing all of these things and more. These outside sources worked for a while, but over time, I started to feel like something was missing. What was missing was myself.
Pain isn’t permanent. Just like a wound, it can heal if cared for properly.
I was covering up the pain I felt, by drowning my sorrows in the bottom of an alcohol bottle. The drugs made me feel on top of the world. I didn’t care about anything when I was high or drunk, but all it did was numb my worries. Relationships filled me with love, that I couldn’t feel otherwise. I was scared to be alone and I needed that feeling of love. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel loved? Though, I needed it so much because I didn’t love myself. To forget about my problems, I began traveling and working constantly. Also I started putting everyone before myself, as a way to not deal with my own pain. At the time, I was in denial and didn’t realize I was trying to cover anything up.
I was scared to be alone and I needed that feeling of love.
Temporary cover-ups are like makeup, eventually it fades away and stops working like it once did for you. Women put on makeup to feel better about themselves. As soon as they take it off, their true self shows. Their scars, blemishes and wounds are all out in the open. So what do they do? Wake up in the morning and layer the same cover up back on again. They put on the makeup to hide their flaws, which only causes more blemishes to appear. On the days it starts pouring down rain, they hide. In the house or under an umbrella, not wanting the rain drops to hit their face. What happens when the water droplets touch their face? They’re stuck with bleeding mascara.
Their scars, blemishes and wounds are all out in the open.
To fix that problem, she grabs her mirror and quickly wipes away the mess on her face. Maybe she even re-applies the mascara and cover up on to her face, because she doesn’t feel beautiful without it. She couldn’t see how she looked walking down that street with puddles of fear, but the world could. Or maybe she decides to leave her bleeding mascara, trickling down her face and dance in the rain. The more she danced in the pouring rain, the more her cover up wore off. Eventually the rain showers washed away her mask. Then she was left with a bare, wet face, that the Sun dried up.
She couldn’t see how she looked walking down that street with puddles of fear, but the world could.
If it wasn’t for the rain that day, this woman wouldn’t know how to appreciate the Sunshine. She looked in the mirror and for once in her life, she felt beautiful. All of those years she spent covering herself up. Scared to go out in the world without her mask. Not wearing her cover up used to make her self-conscious. For once in her life, she felt beautiful without it. She didn’t wear cover up again after the rain that day, then all her blemishes started to heal.
If it wasn’t for the rain that day, this woman wouldn’t know how to appreciate the Sunshine.
It was magical how the rain made her come alive. In the midst of the storm, she found herself. She didn’t care who saw or what anyone else thought. She was dancing on her own in the rain. Yet, suddenly, she didn’t feel alone anymore. A sense of Love ran through her, like a lightning bolt. People looking for external sources to fill an internal void can only cover up their problems temporarily. Just like makeup, it will eventually wear off. It will only work for so long, before your true self comes out from hiding behind the mask you put on. So be like the woman who danced through the storm, even if you have to dance alone.
She was dancing on her own in the rain. Yet, suddenly, she didn’t feel alone anymore. A sense of Love ran through her, like a lightning bolt.