- I hold the power of how my day will go.
- I cannot control what others do to me, but I can change how I react to it.
- I am alive, I matter and things will get better.
- I am thankful for my past because it shaped me into the person I am today.
- I am deserving and worthy of great things.
- I will not sacrifice my self-worth to please others.
- I will find the positives in every situation today.
- I have a purpose for being here and I will see this through.
- I am healing. I will have patience with myself and the process.
- I will be courageous and live true to my heart.
- I will follow through with everything I say I will do.
Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s needed. Loving yourself takes time, like every great relationship. Maybe you’ve spent most of your life in toxic relationships as a way to avoid loving yourself. Or you’re using external sources to hide an internal void. Let’s face it, you can’t run from your problems forever. Well, you could, but that will only cause more problems and prolong the healing process. It’s time to get back to you. I love you and I want the best for you, but nobody wants this more than you. It’s time to make your heart happy. Let’s work on you together.
The Three S’s:
Sobriety- Living a sober life brings time to work on yourself and heal from hurt. Let’s face it, you’ve spent most of your life using drugs or drinking alcohol to hide an internal void. Today will be the day you put an end to that cycle and get sober for good. (Check out my blog post on useful tips that helped me get sober and stay sober: https://sashasecrets.blog/2019/08/31/sobriety/).
Single- You don’t have to be alone forever, but every great relationship starts with yourself. Fall in love with yourself before falling in love with anyone else. True love starts with you.
Smile- Get to know yourself and what makes you happy. Take up hobbies that bring you joy. Do things you enjoy doing. A happy heart is a healthy heart.
Now that you have the three S’s down, let’s work on you some more. You’ve been avoiding you for too long. This will bring feelings you‘re not used to, but don’t turn back now. It’s time to work on healing.
Healing From Hurt:
Talk- Talk about your problems and feelings with other people. Whether the past, present or future is on your mind, it’s good to talk about it. Believe it or not, there are people who care and are willing to listen. If you feel like you have no one to talk to, you can contact me at RealTalk@Sashasecrets.blog.
Write- I know there’s a lot on your mind and you’re going through tough times. You have built-up thoughts and feelings that need release. Writing is a great form of therapy. Write in a journal when you wake up in the morning and continue to write throughout the day. Writing down your thoughts will ease your mind.
Listen- Not everyone is out to get you, there are people who have your best interest. Listen to what people have to say to you. Some of the best advice may come from strangers. Let others help, you don’t have to do this alone.
Remember… You’re healing. You’re a survivor. Don’t turn back now. Every healing brings great changes. Keep going. One day at a time, one step at a time. I’m proud of you for coming this far, don’t stop now. Keep fighting, you got this.
- Face your problems
Avoiding your problems will cause bigger problems. You’ll have to face your problems sooner or later, so it’s best to handle them now
- Write in a journal
Writing down your thoughts and feelings will help ease your mind from anxieties.
- Make room for you
Spend time doing things you love- take up hobbies.
- Follow your heart
Be a leader and create your own path in life. This is your life and no one else can live it for you.
- Remember who you are
Most of the hobbies we enjoyed as kids, we still love to do today. If you feel lost, take a step back and find yourself again.
- Learn from your mistakes
We cannot take back the mistakes we’ve made, but we can learn from them. Use your past mistakes as a stepping stone to better yourself and others today.
- Focus on YOU
Giving too much attention to outward sources and neglecting your own needs isn’t healthy. Focus on building a better relationship with yourself, then you can create healthy relationships with others.
- Spend time in nature
Nature is healing and gives you time to tune in with your higher self.
- Set goals
Setting new goals each day will keep you productive. If you fall short, the sunrise is a reminder that we can try again.
- Heal from hurt
Everyone is faced with hardships in life. How we handle these challenges is what counts the most.
Sobriety hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it and each day gets a little easier. January 11, 2019 is the last day I smoked a cigarette, did drugs and consumed alcohol. When temptations do arise, I look to The Light for strength to continue on my path of sobriety. Addiction is a process that takes time to overcome. Sobriety takes strength and will-power. We have the power inside of us to master the challenges that we are faced with. If you’re struggling with sobriety, whether from nicotine, drugs or alcohol, you’re not alone. From my experience, here is my best advice for getting and staying sober:
Nicotine (In my case, cigarettes):
• Wing yourself off of cigarettes by cutting down how many you smoke a day.
• Once your pack of cigarettes if empty, avoid buying another pack.
• Make one cigarette last all day. At every smoke break, take a couple drags of your cigarette then put it out.
• When you’re craving a cigarette, say to yourself: “Cigarettes are nasty, taste horrible and stink.” Train your mind to believe these words and in time you will.
• Find positive sources to replace cigarettes with
Example: If you’re angry, go for a walk or write in your journal instead of smoking a cigarette.
• Throw away any drugs or drug paraphernalia.
• Delete all contacts that enable you to get drugs.
• Change your phone number, making drug dealers and others who do drugs unable to contact you.
• Avoid people or situations that involve drugs.
• Deal with your problems. Everyone goes through hardships, but how we handle these challenges is what counts the most.
• Avoid social scenes that involve alcohol.
• Heal from hurt- Don’t avoid your problems.
It’s hard to not be around alcohol. There’s alcohol in most places we go- Grocery stores, restaurants and other public places. Here is one way that has helped me be strong enough to be around alcohol and not drink it: I haven’t thrown away the bottles of wine in my pantry. Keeping alcohol in my home has helped me be stronger than my temptations.
My best advice on sobriety:
• Take it one day at a time! Tell yourself “I’m not going to ______ today.” and stick to it. If you mess up, it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up about it. The sunrise is a reminder that we have a chance to try again. It’s not ever too late to make a change. The only change that is too late is the one that you don’t make.
• Pretend or believe somebody or something is watching you. Make promises to that somebody or something.
Example: I look up to the sky and promise not to smoke cigarettes, do drugs or drink alcohol. In the past, when I broke these promises, I felt ashamed.
Today will mark 129 days since my last drink of alcohol or any other mind-altering chemical. Sobriety is such a different feeling, it actually brings feelings. I am finally dealing with everything I have been avoiding and healing from my past.
In the past, when I was stressed out or sad, I turned to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. I am training my mind to find more positive ways to deal with my problems. Writing has been the greatest source for me.
Whenever I catch myself excessively eating or sleeping, I have to remind myself: “Hey, don’t do that! You’re only doing that because you’re in a bad mood.” Habits can be hard to break, but our minds are wired for change. If you get rid of a bad habit, get ready to replace it with something better.
Humans love change and despise it at the same time. We need to start the positive changes we want or need to make with more enthusiasm. Kind of like the vacation you’re longing to go on. You want to get away and see a change of scenery for once. You’re not scared, you’re ready to go on that vacation.
You should treat your life and the positive changes you have and will continue to make the same way. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Positive changes will bring a positive outcome; it’s the cycle of life. That vacation will be as great as you choose to make it. These changes you’re considering making will be great for you, once you make them- one small change at a time.
A little change doesn’t seem like a lot, but making one every day will add up to a lot. If you toss away every penny you get, then it won’t amount to anything. Save each piece of change and you’ll have a whole dollar before you know it. It will all come together, one small change at a time.
Be patient with yourself, you’re growing. If you mess up, then try again. Every night is a reminder that we can make things right. The glow and goodness in the sunrise proves that we have the power to make the most of each day. Although you can’t own the sunrise, you can own your change- so grab it and pave the way.
Beginning again can be challenging; you must unwelcome everything that is not meant for you and break all of the bad habits that are not good for you. When you challenge yourself, you start to see change; if you’re not willing to put in the work, you will stay the same. When I look at myself and my life, I tend to get overwhelmed because I am focusing on it all as a whole. As soon as I start breaking it off into little chunks, it gets easier. Kind of like bagel bites, they come in a pack of forty. I am not capable of stuffing my face with all forty at once , I do not think anyone is. If you know anyone that is, please let me know because that is talent! It is better to do a little bit at a time, just like it is better to eat a little bit at a time. Like bagel bites, fix your life in bite sizes; do what you can now and do more later. Do not be so hard on yourself, you got this; little by little, it will all come together. Even if you are full of fear, the most courageous thing you can do is persevere. Patience is key, but you have to have more than patience; life is not a fairy tale where everything is going to be handed to you on a gold platter, without you doing anything. If you are willing to put in the work, you are going to make it. Self-discipline is key; most locks take a different key, so only you know what needs to be; you hold the key to you life. With every beginning, comes an end, so make the most of this game of life my friend.
When you look into the mirror, you have no choice but to look at the person staring back at you. Yet people tend to escape through the window to hide what is hidden deep down inside. When you look out of the window, you see everything but yourself; relying on anything and everyone else to fix that void you have inside. When you stare into the mirror, you have to face your fear; staring at your reflection, realizing you are your biggest rejection. Some people do not love themselves and they look outside to hide how they feel inside. Although outside sources may help you feel better in the moment, they are not going to fix you. Because even when staring at a window, you can faintly see your reflection. You can not run and hide from yourself forever; once you face your fears and heal your wounds, things will get better. It is hard dealing with pain, it is painful trying to change. You know what is even harder? Staying the same, not dealing with your problems because it will slowly drive you insane. Through your pain, you have so much to gain. The bravest thing you can do is stand in front of the mirror and not run from the person staring back at you. Things will be alright, it is okay to shed a tear. Be there for yourself for once; you owe yourself all of the time, attention and love you give out.